.them.and.me.

So, I'm not going to say NAMES but I will say nicknames or initials.
The following is the reason why I feel like I can't move on. . .

It all begins with "teeny tiny". [my 1st]
So, we were cool. Talked off & on, decided to chill. Truth be told I pegged dude for being "the bait". But clothes off pants down. . .you get the nickname now? .lol.
So I was mad surprised when I ended up with a [surprise] and he flipped the script on me. .BLOWER. That effected me for about 2months then I [fixed] it and kept it moving. no harsh feelings.
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Now we move on to "Mr. CoCo". [would have married]
He's the most [known] out of all the others. Truly thought he was [mr. perfect]. I must have been lusting over dude since I met him but there was nothing serious. He was on & off with his gf and finally they broke up. We'd been cool for a while but I wanted more. . .he will return later.
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Then, there is the "military guy". [needed to read the BOOK, not just the cover]
Talk about WEIRD! So fucking controlling! Now, I thought he was different at first. He was independent, had his shit together but DAMN. Dude was trying to wife me after one meet and greet. After being around him I realized I wasn't as attracted to him as I thought and moved on. But he didn't! he would randomly call me off and on for months. I guess he finally got the picture but who is to say he won't call again?
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And we come to. . ."K". [my 2nd]
He never needed a nickname. He had just about everything I wanted in a guy (so i thought). Good job, apartment, car, etc. He was so sweet. We weren't a couple but no one would think we weren't. This went on for weeks. He even met and chilled with 2 of my close friends but I'm not even sure WHY we stopped talking. I mean if I cook & clean and you're not even my dude I deserve an explanation!
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Now there's "TJ". [total FLIP of the SCRIPT]
He finally gets over me being a "youngin" and we go out like twice a week for a few weeks. He texts me all day everyday. He even calls. . .wow. Gives off that "caring" appeal and everything seems to be cool. Even my friends thought he would be around for a while BUT no. . .another FLIP of the SCRIPT. You really expected me to be sexually experienced after what I told you?? Dude THINK please! .BLOWER.
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Then we get back to "Mr. CoCo".
Now why oh why did I even overstep the friend line?? We we cool being just friends then we decided to "chill" alone. MISTAKE. Even with the little we did nothing went back to the same. he made things awkward! And then we stopped talking. . .WTF is that about?? .ugh.
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Now, last but not least is "Mr. Prezident". [would've married #2]
Pre-med student. Works. Personality on POINT! Now, this one was a complete BLOWER. I mean everything was going good. Real chill. Then he starts acting different. Not returning txt and calls so I give him the [treatment] and he doesn't past. A month later he [explains] saying he just needed to slow down. . .and you couldn't explain that before? WTF. You don't just cut people off because of that! .smh.
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So that leads us to THE PRESENT.
I'm not saying I blame everything on .them. but who else is there to partially blame? I really don't understand what keeps happening and WHY it's happening to me! Before .them. there was "S". But I mean after a year we really just grew apart. And now we're close friends. So now, I can't really fade the "casual" relationship thing. I like to be content and constant. I just need one person. Is that too much to ask? And now there's "M" but I'm not even trying to go there because like all those before, he seems [too good to be true] and 'm not trying to go through another [FLIP of the SCRIPT]!

WHY ME??