.me.you.us.confused. (Poem)

Well, the year is coming to an end. These past few weeks have been "interesting". All these extra emotions have been feeling me up and knocking me around.
I want you.
I dont want you.
I want sex. '
I dont care about sex.
I want a relationship
I'm content with how things are
I'm mad I haven't seen you
I no longer care
This back & forth shit has been driving me crazy!
I was so damn confused! So, I started talking to my friends. And truth be told I thought I had made a big ass mistake! But I didn't.
People can always tell you something about yourself that you are either afraid to admit or unaware of about yourself.
I was afraid to admit that I'm tired of talking to multiple guys
I was afraid to admit that I'm tired of not having relationship consistancy.
I was afraid to admit that although I have talk to many guys none of them make me feel the way I feel now.
I was afraid to admit that something I feel is missing seems to be standing right in front of me but i cant touch it
Can't see it.
Can't hold it.
But I am no longer afraid. 
I'm more so confused.
Confused because I have bottled up emotions and you probably don't give a fuck!
Confused because sometimes I wanna believe everything you say
and other times. . . I just want you to say how you truly feel.

Being a female has sooo many ups and downs!
And I have to admit that although I can be a bitch,
I have a soft side when it comes to my heart
I don't like to be played with.
I don't want to be to be "that chick".
And truth be told. . .
I'm use to being at least #2 so change is different.
And I'm not willing to change and wait this out if you won't tell me whats going on.

#1 reason im a little upset. . . i like face to face contact.
No sexual things needed.
conversation. smiling. laughing.
thinking. . .
and if you can make me think then you can probably one day have my heart.
same time, you will probably be more likely to break it.

.confused.